


Instruction Manuel

by katiebuttercup



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, No Twincest, nice cersei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebuttercup/pseuds/katiebuttercup
Summary: Cersei literally puts Brienne in Jaime’s bed. If the two idiots can’t figure it out from there Cersei is washing her hands of them
Relationships: Cersei Lannister & Brienne of Tarth, Cersei Lannister & Jaime Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101





	Instruction Manuel

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” Brienne says tremulously as Cersei unlocks her brother’s apartment door, thankful that Jaime’s style leaned towards androgynous chic, it was difficult to determine who lived in the penthouse and that was what Cersei was counting on. 

Brienne follows behind her, still sniffling. She’d stopped crying at least which was a bonus, though Cersei gave her props for not letting Jaime see how upset she was, and even Cersei was beginning to chafe under her brother’s cruelty, it had started when the girls had started discussing what they liked in their partners and Jaime had cottoned on to the fact that Brienne had been conspicuously quiet and so he had launched into a diatribe that made even Cersei angry.

“You’re a virgin I take it,” Jaime had begun, his tone amiable but Cersei heard the bite in it, “so what makes big Brienne wet between those massive thighs? Men? Women? Horses?

As it was Jaime was lucky the only causality was the drink in his face and his dry cleaning bill, he’d been pushing all night, flirting outrageously with Margeary and then his little outburst, Cersei had been surprised Brienne hadn’t clocked him, she certainly had wanted to, the fact that Jaime was acting out of jealousy because Brienne had been talking to some dark haired guy at the bar. 

Part of her wondered if she was setting Brienne for more heartbreak by forcing her into Jaime’s personal space but Tyrion had sent her a long apology text Jaime had drunkenly composed for Brienne and that had settled it. 

“Don’t worry if you see guy stuff around, it’s Rahagear’s he sleeps over a lot,” Cersei lies easily, hoping that Brienne was too upset to notice there was no female personal effects.

Brienne hadn’t moved from the door mat, how someone so huge and bulky could look so small and pathetic Cersei couldn’t fathom. 

“Oh no, it’s fine. I just can’t go back to my apartment...I can’t face everyone” she said. 

“Well I’ll come round about midday for the key,” Cersei says, “you said you don’t have class tomorrow,”

Brienne nods mutely still emotional, and wrung out, but hopefully after Jaime had slept off his hangover at Tyrion’s he would come home to Brienne in his bed and finally put her out of her misery. 

*

Jaime hates the sun, he blares through Tyrion’s wall of windows straight into his eyes and his brother refuses to let him borrow some sunglasses. 

“I hope you’re proud of yourself,” Tyrion says, over the sound of the blender, Jaime buries himself in his arms to avoid the noise. “A grown man berating a girl about her sex life,”

“She’s not a girl!” Jaime croaks, “She’s twenty!” He takes the proffered smoothie and takes a gulp and winces, his brother’s hangover cure was legendary even if it tasted disgusting.

“Jaime, I know you don’t know how to act like a human being to most people but what you did last night was terrible”

“It was a joke!”

Tyrion’s mismatched eyes met his and a sliver of remorse cut into Jaime as sharp as any knife.

“If someone made those kinds of comments about me you’d have laid them out flat, hell if anyone made those comments about Brienne, you’d have kicked their arses! I know you think calling her wench and ugly is playful but it’s not you can’t go off the handle every time she talks to a guy!”

“Renly Baratheon!” Jaime exclaims as if that cleared the whole situation up. “I can’t get a word out of her all evening and Renly shows up and she’s all smiles and talking, hell Im pretty sure she giggled, giggled Tyrion!”

“Why do you care if Brienne fancies Renly?” Tyrion asks, “you know as well as I do he’s as gay as a lark!”

“Because Brienne doesn’t know, or she does but she’s too besotted to care, she’s going to waste her life pining over this guy who barely looks at her”

Tyrion shrugs, “it’s her life,”

“There are better options!” Jaime stresses.

“Like?” Tyrion prods

“Like me for starters! But I don’t exist when Renly is around,”

“That must be frustrating,” Tyrion allows

Jaime opens his mouth and closes it again, “I’m not going to stay here and listen to another lecture about how Brienne likes me back. It’s quite apparent that she doesn’t.”

*

The walk back to his apartment is torture but the fresh air actually helps, another stupid Brienne ism  
that has stuck, she was forever giving him advice that he didn’t ask for. 

When he stumbles into his apartment it takes him a minute to realise there is someone in his bed and another second to realise it’s Brienne, she looks adorable, curled around his pillow and wrapped in his duvet cover, it’s like a dream come to life. 

“Brienne!” His mouth is moving before he can think and Brienne starts awake at his tone, looking sleepy and soft. It makes his the opposite of soft. 

“What are you doing here?” She squeaks, holding the covers to her chest. She unfortunately not naked.

“I live here!” Jaime says with intonation. 

“But your sister-“

“Wait you came here with Cersei?” Jaime blurts our, horror creeping into his features, “do you want Cersei?”

Brienne rubs sleep from her eyes, “of course not!”

“Then explain why you’re here!”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you” Brienne says, they both spot her jeans at the same time but Jaime is quicker to grab them. He can imagine the acres of bare flesh underneath his comforter.

“Cersei told me this was her apartment,” Brienne says reluctantly, eyeing her jeans, “she told me I could stay the night..can I please have my jeans back?”

A grin spread across Jaime’s features, bless his sister. 

“Come and get them,” He teased, Brienne tenses. 

“I’m just wearing my underwear and a t shirt,” she protests

“I don’t mind,”

“Well I do!”

“I need to apologise,” Jaime says truthfully, “and I have a feeling this is the only way you’ll listen, so,”  
He takes a deep breath; “I don’t want Margery, I was trying to make you jealous and I was dumb, I just i was angry that you were fawning over Renly, again.” 

“Oh!” Brienne says softly, she scoots down the bed, “funny you should mention Renly he was giving me tips on how to approach you,”

Jaime’s hangover was a thing of the past, “then maybe I can persuade you you don’t need these for  
a while ,” he tosses the jeans into a far corner and Brienne welcomes him into his bed, laughing


End file.
